There are some things that are inevitable along this wonderful journey called Life. One is that at some or other time we will be struck with the feeling that something is not quite right. Often, we shrug it off and carry on. Sometimes the feeling goes away and sometimes it grows into full-blown depression or burnout. Trust me, this is not somewhere you want to end up. But how do we know if what we need is a slight adjustment in perspective or whether we need to make a major life change?
Here are 5 signs I’ve picked up along my way that have clearly indicated the need to make a major change:-
- The situation takes more than it gives
Whenever I feel the need to examine the value of a relationship, I begin by asking a simple question, ‘Is this relationship adding to my life, or taking something away from it?’ If the answer leans towards the latter, it’s time for a change. This is true not only for love relationships, but also applies to business relationships and jobs. If the situation you’re in is making you feel emotionally depleted, it’s not one you want to be staying in.
- The passion has gone
Think about passion as a little ember of sunlight that lives inside you. Imagine that what you do or who you’re with ignites it each day; enabling it to create a sense of energy, warmth, and a feeling of lightness and enthusiasm. If what you’re doing or who you with doesn’t spark your passion, it’s time to make a move.
- You’re getting sick all the time
Getting a cold from time to time or having a bout of seasonal flu is fairly common and to be expected. What isn’t okay, is to be sick every month. Stress suppresses the immune system, making it easier to get sick. So when negative stress is a constant companion, it stands to reason that sickness will be as well.
- You have stopped being curious
You know that feeling when you’re in a job that makes you happy, where you’re so excited about constantly learning new things – where you’re looking for innovative ways of doing your work or finding courses you can go on to improve your own productivity? Similarly, when you’re in a relationship where you’re curious about your partner; excited about finding out things about their day, their experiences, their thoughts. Curiosity adds an adventurous spirit to life and relationships…things just become dull without it.
- You feel invisible
What I mean by invisible, is that you don’t feel valued. You feel that your worth is not being seen, your voice not being heard. I think that feeling unappreciated is one of the worst feelings to have to sit with. The thing is though, you don’t (have sit with the feeling!) One of my favourite sayings is, “Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated.”
If any of these signs have resonated with you, it’s probably time for you to make some space for change. And I know it’s a scary prospect! I am all too familiar with Fear’s favourite questions – what if I don’t find another job? what if leave my partner and I never find anyone else? what if this is just how it’s supposed to be? what if I’m not good enough?
As soon as Fear starts its fear mongering tactics, you look it firmly in the eye and tell it to go and sit in the corner. Make sure that it understands that you know you can’t drown out its voice, but there is no way that you will be taking advice from it.
Go on…make that change!