Know when to leave

We come here every day

Every day we sit down in the same space, in the same place
Bum on starting block-chair, hands strong and fingers flexed, mind poised for what comes next
There…
The sound of Outlook popping open, the starting gun, the new day has officially begun Outlook overtook our ability to see what’s actually out there a long time ago
No time now to look out or in or up or around, only down

Down is how I’ve been feeling for some time

I’m still in this race but my energy reserves are depleted
Every email filed or deleted a small victory on this road to what?
What exactly is the end goal?
Posts are serially advertised while we’re fed serious lies about everything being fine
Sign in again Office 365 prompts after another minor failure
Fail here and know you’ll receive no mercy

Mercy mercy me, things ain’t what they used to be

I know it’s not just me
It’s not just me who wants to look up to see a future tinted with the opportunity to create
Dare I say something meaningful?
Not tainted with something that reeks suspiciously of selfish greed
I need to believe that there are places I could go where I would be celebrated
My value evaluated on more than just my ability not to lose my shit because yet another burning task or responsibility has been lit and flung into my too capable hands too often to remember that it’s okay to ask for a respite

Spite is threatening to drag me into its black cave

But cave this time I will not
Instead I must see this for what it is not and name it instead for what it is
It is quite simply
My time to leave

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s